My Story
Stress doesn't have to be a way of life! |
 |
As I sit in my cosy office looking out over the rolling green hills at my window, sun shining on the desk top, my puppy dog asleep at my feet and sipping a foaming cappuccino, I smile contented with my work today. Stress what stress? I muse.
See it hasn’t always been that way. Just over 9 years ago my life felt very different. Until this point in my life I had enjoyed a rather successful career in sales. Then in 1999 I found that I was an extremely stressed key account manager for a major brand in the UK. I travelled over 50,000 miles a year just to ‘get the order’ as part of my ever increasing sales target.
Demands on my time were horrendous. I was contactable by phone 24/7, the traffic on the roads got heavier each week, by rushing, you were the target of every speed camera on the road, really not an option as a regular traveller across the UK each day. Competition was getting tougher in an ever cut throat market, even if you were brand leader. The clients expected more and more from you and so did the boss!
As a woman in a male dominated working environment, I watched all my male peers gain promotion whilst all I ever got were more customers to look after and more frustration to boot as problem customers seemed to be my speciality! the cream of the clients were only handled by 'the men!'
It’s pretty awful when you feel unheard, your ideas are dismissed and you are considered a rebel because you challenge the status quo isn’t it? I am sure you will understand what I mean?
The miles, the pressure, the targets and most of all the lack of respect and recognition began to take their toll on my health.
I struggled to get a good restful nights sleep; often staring out of my bedroom window for hours at night, or tossing and turning unable to go back to sleep. Each day my eating habits worsened - a chocolate bar and crisps for lunch due to lack of time, take away at nights as I was too tired to cook. Trips to the gym became a thing of the past due to exhaustion and lack of interest. I settled into my new evening couch potato role gratefully!Weekends became torture- every Sunday morning I would wake in dread, knowing that it was Monday the next day and back to the drudgery of my job. Each week Sunday was spoiled and my mood dipped.
Oh part of the job was to enjoy the finer things in life, fancy sporty company cars, bonus cheques, dinner at top Park Lane Hotels, trips to Europe for conferences. All of it left me feeling cold and empty inside – after all why would I enjoy dining with people I didn’t like and in some cases didn’t even know! Time away from my home meant more misery for me, sterile hotel rooms that could have been anywhere in the world, same old menus, same faces at meetings, same old ideas, it was all so uninspiring, even if the salary still came rolling in.
I decided I had to change career for my own sanity. But what should I do? Change was scary and also the security of my regular salary suddenly seemed so alluring!
I had an interest in things holistic, even trying some of the remedies and treatments to alleviate my stress symptoms. I always said I wanted a job where I helped people so figured it would be an excellent idea to train as a therapist. Aromatherapy oils on tap, reflexology to release tension, Indian head massage to stop headaches, perfect! Plus there must have been hundreds of people who required these services as they felt like I did.
So as well as a day job that demanded more of me than I ever possessed, I started night school to complete my therapy training. With the heavy workload, early starts, and late finishes three nights at night school plus extra study and practice sessions, my husband began asking me ‘Who are you’ when I dropped into bed at night as I was hardly ever at home! There had to be more to life than this.
The more I worked and studied the worse my stress symptoms became. Extreme tireness, followed by a constant knot in my stomach, I couldn’t sleep for more than a couple of hours before waking up with work on my mind. I began to experience panic attacks each time I got in my company car, worrying about arriving in time for appointments. The M25 was my worst nightmare each week as I sat going nowhere fast literally! then the phone would ring and my manager was checking up on me. Did he ever get stuck in the traffic?
It made me feel so awful I went to my GP to see if he could help. All I was offered was a course of beta blockers to slow me down. What use was that I asked myself, I already feel like a zombie without taking drugs to achieve the same outcome!
I took his advice and took some time out. Now initially the rest away from racing around in my car and time out in the fresh air helped, my sleep patterns evened out a bit, but I knew I had to return to work at some stage. All the break from work provided was a small bandaid plaster to cover over the hole that had become my terrible career. I had days where I perhaps one step away from mild depression. I would cry in my lounge and feel like I was going mad. Why me I asked. It was exhausting pondering then meaning of life, especially this one.
‘For goodness sake quit’ said my husband one day. ‘We can manage without your wage, you can always find alternative work when you feel ready. You know you can. I simply won’t see you like this. I met you when you were strong, confident, funny and wise. All I see now is a wreck and it doesn’t suit you’.
For once I listened to him! As it made perfect sense to get away from my real source of stress- my sales job. Now it wasn’t easy walking away from a large salary and company car and the perks package. But I cannot begin to explain how freeing it was to not have to report to a group of people who didn’t even send me a get well card in the four months I had taken off sick! Some company ehe! I can still hear the smug snigger when I told them I was going off to be a holistic therapist – ‘oh setting up a massage parlour are you?’ said one of the bosses! What a b******d! I thought.
I really had enough of panic attacks, poor sleep patterns and that constant nagging feeling in my stomach, irritating work colleagues. It was time to leave the work that drained me and concentrate my efforts on doing more fulfilling work.
Now I won’t lie to you, I found after leaving, jumping of the comfort of the corporate cushion life was, at times, just as frustrating being a self employed person. Clients weren’t always forthcoming, my one Yellow Pages advert did not generate anywhere near enough leads, cash flow could be a problem, and therapists certainly did not earn what sales people did. And worse still for me therapy clients did not want to talk they fell asleep on my couch and I had nobody to talk to! What a lonely profession.
It was time for rethink number two. How could I still help people, without being bored, lonely and still able to use my skills? Well a new profession had begun.
Coaching was certainly taking the US by storm and here in the UK many were beginning to train developing their skills as a coach.
I took the plunge and began studying, expanding my knowledge, gaining clients and speaking holding workshops and the like. At last I was beginning to understand that my own painful experiences were absolutely necessary for me to fully empathise with my clients so I could help them to either come to terms with their own stress nightmares or help them to recover and get back on track even if it meant making major changes to their lives.
Now I came from a point of power, where I took the responsibility and decision for my own outcomes in life.
As one of my friends once said ‘If you are going to work for an idiot , you may as well be self employed!’
Some 7 years later I am very proud to be part of this profession and just love helping my clients. The work is more fulfilling than I ever imagined. I have met so many fabulous people in this time. I wish I could have had dinner with them at the Ritz instead of all those stuffy executives in my previous working life!
My questions to you are now:
What are you putting up with that simply depletes your energy and make you feel miserable? Are you prepared to change and let it go?
If so call me today to see how I can help you forward.
|
